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What to Do When Things Don’t Turn Out the Way You Wanted

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I’ve never used this forum to talk about politics and I don’t plan to change this guiding principle any time soon.

But I do think that there’s no better time than the present moment to share some strategies that are guaranteed to help you find comfort and peace when things don’t turn out exactly the way you wanted them to.

TRUTH: Life is full of disappointments.

Whether it’s a Presidential election, a job interview, promotion, a family issue, friendship or frustration with yourself, it’s all part of the journey. When your expectations aren’t met you can feel  disappointed, angry, stressed, fearful, unhappy, inadequate, hurt, sad, negative and –  even hate.

These emotions are like a wave of bad energy that knocks you to your knees and leaves you feeling frustrated and helpless.

It’s not a good place to be and the longer you stay there, the harder it is for you to get up and get moving again.

Below you’ll find five actionable tips to help you deal with disappointment and role the negative energy you’re feeling into something healthy and productive.

1. Get moving.

Looking for some positive energy? Exercise gets your blood pumping and releases endorphins in your brain that lift your mood and boost your energy level.

It changes the way you feel pretty quickly and gives you the motivation and clarity you need to do better and feel good about yourself.

2. See the good.

It’s a challenge to find good when you’re feeling angry and afraid. Good is out there but when you’re upset it’s more difficult for you to see.

Slow-down and catch a glimpse of the sunset tonight and you’ll understand what I mean.

Good can be found in the most disappointing and difficult situations. It appears in the form of lessons learned, positive solutions, caring and helpful people, random acts of kindness and HOPE.

When you train your brain to see the good, you look past the negativity, judgment and bias to find respect, understanding and opportunity.

3. Keep moving.

The most happy and successful people keep moving forward no matter how they feel.

When life throws curve balls, this amazing group doesn’t make excuses or blame others – they hit the reset button, focus on what they can control and keep moving forward.

They know that taking small consistent action no matter what, trumps (no pun intended) no action every time and that it’s much harder to get started when you stop.

4. Replace fear with faith.

I believe everything happens for a reason regardless of the circumstances. In the end it’s God’s plan and it happens on his time.

When things don’t work out as planned – it’s your job to learn from it and roll the pain, fear and negativity that you’re feeling into something proactive and good.

Some helpful ways to connect with your higher power include – prayer, meditation, yoga, positive affirmations and connecting with nature. Remember that beautiful sunset I told you about earlier?

Choosing faith over fear and doubt helps you to grow and is a much more effective use of your energy.

5. Serve others.

You get what you give in life.

When you’re feeling helpless and alone, take that negative energy and use it to help others.

When you do good for someone else you feel better about yourself.

Serving others makes you realize that no matter how you’re feeling, you have beautiful gifts and talents that can make a positive difference in someone else’s life.

Always remember that others need what you have to give!

Now it’s your turn…

Tell me about a time when things didn’t happen the way you wanted. What did you do to flip the script into something helpful and positive?

Try to share as much detail as possible in your reply. Your story can provide insight and inspiration to someone else.

Thanks you for your support and participation. Together we’ll help each other be better and live happier!

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  • Carole November 22, 2016, 1:20 pm

    I’ve learned that I have no control of other people’s behavior and that acceptance is the key to my serenity and happiness. Helping others takes me outside of my head and stops my overthinking. Lastly, I have gratitude for all I have in life. Where there is gratitude, there is no despair. Pray often…..

    Reply
    • Lina Hollman November 28, 2016, 5:27 pm

      I absolutely loved what you shared Carole and I know the other readers will too. Thanks for the wisdom and inspiration <3

      Reply
  • Pat November 22, 2016, 2:46 pm

    Thank you – this made my day. You are right this has been a challenging year! THX again and have a wonderful holiday!

    Reply
    • Lina Hollman November 28, 2016, 5:24 pm

      You’re so welcome Pat! Glad I was able to lift your spirits and help you see the good. Keep working it :)

      Reply
  • Wayne Wittman November 30, 2016, 2:20 am

    On October 3rd, 2016 I had hip replacement surgery in my right hip. This occurred from a sudden bone disease that stopped the flow of blood to my hip joint causing it to fail. The five months leading up to the operation were terrible for me due to the unbelievable pain associated with my failing hip. As a certified SPINing Instructor, I went from teaching hour long SPIN classes to not being able to walk. At the same time my 87 year old mother took ill and went into the hospital a few days after my surgery. Her condition took a turn for the worse and she passed away on Veterans Day November 11th, 2016. Being stuck at home after the operation and not being with my dying mother was heartbreaking to say the least.

    All of this is the backdrop to what happened next. So I was determined to get better to get back to my normal lifestyle as soon as possible. In addition my mother from her dying bedside was worried about how I was doing and not concerned for her own health. So in order to ease my mother’s concern about me I needed get to a point where I was able to be with her to show her that I was OK.

    So with shear will and determination I forced myself to get better. I was scared because if I pushed it too hard, my hip would literally fall apart. But I needed to give back to my mother what she gave me all my life, which was her love and caring for me. Three weeks after the operation I was at her bedside telling her that I was OK. She was so happy to see me again that for a few days she actually got a bit better. Was I totally healed; no but I needed to give her the medicine she needed which was seeing me OK again. Day after day went by and I got better and my mother got worse.

    When I went for my 5 week checkup the doctor was amazed at how well I was doing. I told him that my mother was helping me get better. A funny look came over his face. I didn’t get into it but my mother certainty was helping me to get better. A week after that checkup she passed.

    So in the end my mother and I shared all that we had with one another and that’s our love and respect for one another.

    Everything you said in your blog this week is spot on and is what I experienced this year so far. My recovery is going fine and I am looking to get back on the SPIN bike by the middle of December. Thanks Mom for helping me to overcome my illness and to get better!!

    Reply
    • Lina Hollman December 1, 2016, 7:14 pm

      I’m sorry about your mom Wayne and thanks for sharing your beautiful story. Helping others when we ourselves struggle can provide positive energy, motivation and healing. I like to say it’s the go-to cure for whatever ales us in life. Spinning helps too!

      Reply