I’ve always been an independent person and never liked asking anyone for help.
That was my religion and by the grace of God, I was able to figure out a lot of things on my own.
Growing up, I was told that people had plenty of their own problems and didn’t want to be bothered hearing about mine.
If I did need help, I usually turned to my family and a small circle of friends for support.
That worked out OK when I was younger, but after I graduated college and started working, I soon discovered that my circle didn’t have the right knowledge and experience to guide and direct me.
But the damage was done. Because of what I learned at a young age, I was programmed to believe people didn’t want to be bothered with my problems so I became reluctant to ask for help when I needed it.
I thought asking for help would be interpreted as not being smart enough or strong enough to deal with my own issues and it would reflect poorly on my family. Growing up in an Italian family was wonderful — but what happened to the family — stayed in the family. — if you know what I mean.
The real reason I didn’t like asking for help was F-E-A-R.
Fear of being judged. fear of being rejected, fear of imposing, pride and fear of not asking the right questions.
Embracing that mindset was the biggest mistake I’ve made in my life and it took years to overcome the story I created in my head.
The majority of people find asking for help difficult because they’re afraid they’ll be rejected. But everyone needs help and there are more people willing to help than you think.
Here are four tips to help you ask for help:
- Realize that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness – doing it makes you look highly competent and shows you want to improve and grow.
- Find the right person to ask. Do some research and connect with the person that has the heart, knowledge and expertise you’re looking for.
- Know what you want to ask ahead of time- and just ask it. Don’t over think, just do it.
- Pay-it-forward – offer to return the favor.
In the weeks to come I’ll be telling you about a person who stepped way out of his comfort zone to ask me for help and how taking that risk has started to have a positive impact on his life. Stay tuned!!
Now it’s your turn.
How has asking for help positively affected your life?
I’d love for you to share your comments in the box below. Let’s get a dialogue going to help each other overcome barriers and think more positively.
Please remember, a more positive and happier life is within your reach. It starts by BELIEVING in yourself and taking small steps every-day in the direction you want to go. I know YOU CAN DO IT!!