If the stuff going on in your head is holding you back – please listen up!

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you woke up each day and did the things you’ve been wanting to do without thinking?

What if you could take action without worry and stress?

Let go of the excuses and stories you’ve been telling yourself and put your energy into accomplishing the things you’ve spent months or even years thinking about?

Imagine effortlessly knocking out your goals and dreams while experiencing a heightened sense of productivity and peace?

It can be done — and it starts by getting out of your own way.

The reason you keep tripping over yourself is because you overthink things.

Use this five tips to get past your head and into your heart to find peace in the present moment:

1. Self-awareness.
Your mind doesn’t stop and the most effective way to change this is through self-awareness.

This means being aware of your thoughts and emotions and how you react to things.

To become more self-aware you have to stop operating on autopilot and live in the moment. When you face a situation that triggers a negative response — pause – hit the reset button, BREATHE and open yourself up to the possibility that anything is possible.

2. Learn and let it go.
If past mistakes are affecting your ability to move forward, remember that you’re in good company. Everyone makes mistakes.

Failure is a powerful learning tool. People who live fully learn from their failures and move on. They don’t look back.

Entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuck said it best: “Dwelling on what you f’d up on is the quickest way for the next thing not to work.”

3. Love yourself.
Life is hard. To survive its many twists and turns you need to practice kindness and compassion towards yourself.

If you don’t love yourself – no one else will. You know that saying — you get what you give in life? That goes for yourself too. You are amazing! See the good and respect who you are as a person.

If you practice self-compassion and be kind to your mind, you’ll be able to get through life’s detours with confidence and grace.

4. Just do it.
Overthinking is like going through a slow death. The only difference is there’s a cure but you’d rather stick with what you know than step out of your comfort zone and try something new.

When you overthink you lose confidence, become depressed and feel hopeless. You lose yourself in something that’s not reality.

Next time you find yourself over thinking, use the five second rule. If you think about something for more than five seconds – just do it. So much of your energy is wasted thinking about things and not doing anything. Unfortunately, you can’t do both at the same time. Choose to take action.

5. Live in the present moment.
Living in the past or the future robs you from the enjoyment of today.

Stop thinking about the problems and negativity from your past and live where life is happening right now. Practice mindfulness by taking in what’s going around you.. Whether you’re playing with your kids, going for a hike or washing the dishes – your mind should focus on what you’re doing at that present moment.

If you find your thoughts wandering — say the word HERE to bring yourself back to reality.

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN:

I’d love to know: What’s one specific thing that keeps getting in your way and which one of these 5 strategies would improve it for you?

Please share your comments in the box below. Let’s get a dialogue going to help each other overcome barriers and think more positively.

Please remember, a more positive and happier life is within your reach. It starts by BELIEVING in yourself and taking small steps every day in the direction you want to go. I know YOU CAN DO IT!!

I’ve always been an independent person and never liked asking anyone for help.

That was my religion and by the grace of God, I was able to figure out a lot of things on my own.  

Growing up, I was told that people had plenty of their own problems and didn’t want to  be bothered hearing about mine.

If I did need help, I  usually turned to my family and a small circle of friends for support.

That worked out OK when I was younger, but after I graduated college and started working, I soon discovered that my circle didn’t have the right knowledge and experience to guide and direct me.  

But the damage was done. Because of what I learned at a young age, I was programmed to believe people didn’t want to be bothered with my problems so I became reluctant to ask for help when I needed it.

I thought asking for  help would be interpreted as not being smart enough or strong enough to deal with my own issues and it would reflect poorly on my family. Growing up in an Italian family was wonderful — but what happened to the family — stayed in the family. — if you know what I mean. 

The real reason I didn’t like asking for help was F-E-A-R.

Fear of being judged. fear of being rejected, fear of imposing, pride and fear of not asking the right questions.

Embracing that mindset was the biggest mistake I’ve made in my life and it took years to overcome the story I created in my head.

The majority of people find asking for help difficult because they’re afraid they’ll be rejected. But everyone needs help and there are more people willing to help than you think.   

Here are four tips to help you ask for help:

1. Realize that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness – doing it makes you look highly competent and shows you want to improve and grow.
2. Find the right person to ask. Do some research and connect with the person that has the heart, knowledge and expertise you’re looking for.
3. Know what you want to ask ahead of time- and just ask it. Don’t over think, just do it.  
4. Pay-it-forward – offer to return the favor.

In the weeks to come I’ll be telling you about a person who stepped way out of his comfort zone to ask me for help and how taking that risk has started to have a positive impact on his life. Stay tuned!!

Now it’s your turn.

How has asking for help positively affected your life?

I’d love for you to share your comments in the box below. Let’s get a dialogue going to help each other overcome barriers and think more positively.

Please remember, a more positive and happier life is within your reach. It starts by BELIEVING in yourself and taking small steps every-day in the direction you want to go. I know YOU CAN DO IT!!

Suffering a traumatic experience, disappointment or unexpected setback can be devastating.

One minute your life is fine and the next minute your entire world seems like it’s about to implode.

I know because adversity has touched my life more over the last six years than it has in the previous 20.

Adversity wasn’t something I much thought about. When I hit a few bumps in the road of life, I  found a way to deal with it and got myself back on track fairly easily.

But then over the last six years something started to shift — I lost my job, was in a very serious car accident, my only sister betrayed me, went through a bad family illness and had my husband lose his job.

It got to the point that I began thinking someone had it in for me and sent a personal memo to God that said the following:

“In case you haven’t noticed, Lina Hollman has had it relatively easy the last 20 years. She’s a great person, hardworking and always so positive (snicker).  Maybe it’s time she got a taste of some of the hardships other folks go through? Then we’ll see just how positive she really is (villain laugh).”

Of course that’s not what really happened. Everyone goes through adversity at one-time-or-another in their life. It’s something you can count on – like death and taxes.

It’s never pleasant but I learned through my experiences that if I viewed adversity as less of a barrier and more as an opportunity it can become an advantage.  

Adversity builds character, confidence and resilience and shows both you and the rest of the world how much more you’re capable of.

When you embrace adversity and learn how to control your thoughts and reactions, you will create more positive outcomes in your life.

Use these five strategies to effectively overcome adversity and turn your setback into a come back:

1. Accept it.

It is what it is. Bad things happen every day. Regret, anger, hurt and pain won’t make it go away. I think college professor Randy Pausch, who chronicled his battle with pancreatic cancer in his book  “The Last Lecture” said it best:

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”  

2. Don’t let it define you.

We are shaped by our past but we don’t have to be defined by it. Love yourself enough to learn from your struggles and mistakes and use it to mold and shape a better future.

3.  Open yourself up to the process–don’t be resistant, be persistent!

Embrace the change, let go of the fear, STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP and be open to the process. Take your foot off the break  — unlock the doors and roll down the windows and breathe. Open your heart and mind to what’s going on around you because there’s a reason for it. Use it to learn,  grow, change and improve.

4.  Trust in the journey.

Bad things will happen in our lives. Trust that there is a reason you are where you are right now. Stay positive and keep learning, building, doing and connecting with people (there are angels out there waiting to help you) no matter where your journey takes you. Believe in yourself, practice persistent and have faith that God will lead you to where you can do the most good.

5. Serve others with gratitude.

When you’re going through tough times serving others with a grateful heart energizes and gives hope. Studies have shown that gratitude is a coping mechanism that helps you get through difficult events. It’s the one-two punch that has the power to transform your life. 

Serving others builds awareness and makes you realize you’re not alone and that other people struggle too. More importantly it helps you realize–  that despite your own challenges — YOU HAVE THE POWER TO LIFT OTHERS.

When they work together — gratitude and service provide a perspective that reframes your thoughts and reprograms your brain to see the good in the most difficult of situations. They offer healing properties that have the power to transform your life and the lives of the people you touch.

NOW I’D LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Which one of these 5 strategies has been most effective in helping you deal with adversity in your life? How has it helped you?

Others in the community can learn from your experience so please share your personal insights and lessons learned related to this topic in the box below.

Remember a more positive and happier life is within your reach. It starts by believing in yourself and taking small steps in the direction you want to go. I know YOU CAN DO IT!!

There’s a lot going on in that head of yours and unfortunately, most of it isn’t good.

Research tells us that we have 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day and 80% of them are negative.

Think of it this way: If you were awake for 24 hours straight, you’d spend 96.2% of your time consumed by doubt, criticism, frustration and disappointment and the remaining 4.8% engaging in kind, motivating and happy thoughts.

And here’s something you probably didn’t know: Studies indicate that about 98% of your thoughts are the same ones you had yesterday.

It’s almost as if you’re replaying the same bad movie over and over expecting a different ending.

Is that the way you want to live?

The good news is that with some effort, you can get rid of a lot of your negative clutter and make space for more powerful and proactive thoughts that will keep you inspired and confident.

Use these 3 simple steps to declutter your mind, stop sabotaging your progress and start thinking more positively:

1. Take inventory.

I spent a good chunk of time last week organizing my walk-in closet. I couldn’t believe the amount of stuff I found hidden on shelves and tucked away in boxes and bags that I wasn’t using or didn’t even know I had. I separated the items into two piles and took inventory of everything.

You can do the same thing with your thoughts. When you wake up in the morning – what’s  the first thought that pop’s into your head? Are your thoughts encouraging and helpful – or are they negative and critical? Write it down and then move to step #2. 

2. Let go of the things that aren’t working for you anymore.

If you care about your health and well-being it’s important you take time to figure out what’s not working and get rid of it. It’s one of the bravest things you can do for yourself.

Let go of the stories you tell yourself that are holding you back, the negative self-talk that creates fear, the past grudges that make you angry and upset so you can make room for more positive and productive thinking.

3. Challenge yourself.

When you get out of your comfort zone — the space where routines and patterns minimize your stress and risk —  it changes the way you view yourself and the rest of the world.

The brain actually structures and restructures itself in response to your experiences. When you challenge yourself  it makes you more productive and helps you deal with new and unexpected changes more quickly. It opens your mind and helps you think more positively.

NOW IT”S YOUR TURN!

If you could eliminate one negative thought forever — what would it be? What positive thought would you replace it with?

I’d love for you to share your comments in the box below. Let’s get a dialogue going to help each other overcome barriers and think more positively.

Please remember, a more positive and happier life is within your reach. It starts by BELIEVING in yourself and taking small steps every-day in the direction you want to go. I know YOU CAN DO IT!!

I recently asked a group I was training what was stopping them from living the life they really want?

They told me stuff like I’m not motivated enough, I’m too old, I don’t have the right experience and I’m over weight.

I totally understood where they were coming from because I use to make the same excuses. Then I got honest with myself and my life started to change.

The truth is the only obstacle stopping you from stepping into your greatness and living a life you love is YOU!

When you understand and accept this fact you can overcome just about any challenge that comes your way and open yourself up to all beautiful possibilities life has to offer.

YOU ARE AMAZING and you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it.

Here are 5 steps that can help you slay those pesky road blocks getting in your way:

1. Have Courage.

If fear is holding you back from trying new things or going after something you really want, it’s time to break free. You’ve been in this dark place before. Push through it,stay positive and anticipate that things will work out. Remember, plenty of people would love to be your shoes. You are stronger than you think – BELIEVE IT!

2. Don’t overthink.

When you think about things too long you start to doubt yourself. Doubt creates negativity – negativity creates fear and fear results in inaction. Do you think Tom Brady was beating himself up over the mistakes he and his team made during the first half of the Super Bowl? Heck no! He just focused on what he and his team needed to do to win the game and refused to believe the story unfolding right before his eyes. Don’t overthink – JUST DO IT!

3. Be patient & work hard.

Anything worth having takes time and a massive amount of effort. Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times before he invented the light bulb. His teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything” and he was fired from his first two jobs for being non-productive. Keep working at it. Believe in yourself because you have the talent to achieve anything that you set your mind to. NEVER GIVE UP!!!!

4. Take small steps every day.

Do one thing consistently and you’ll start to see positive results sooner than you think. Consistency creates routines and habits. When you’re consistent you make progress toward whatever it is you want to accomplish. The more progress you make the more motivated you’ll be to keep working — even when things get tough. KEEP MOVING!

5. Love and be kind to yourself.

Life is tough and we all go through difficult times in our lives. Love and respect yourself for who you are and remember to be kind to your mind. There’s only one you and when you accept and support yourself during your good and bad days you become stronger, more resilient and feel a whole lot happier. Let go of the criticism and smile more and you’ll begin to see your life improve. LOVE YOURSELF!

Now it’s your turn….. What the biggest insight and action you’ll take as a result of what I shared with you?

Please leave your comments in the box below.

Remember others in the community can learn from you so please share your personal insights, experiences and lessons learned related to this topic.

I hope this month’s post motivates you and keeps you working toward your goals and dreams.

Remember a more positive and happier life is within your reach. It starts by believing in yourself and taking small steps in the direction you want to go. I know YOU CAN DO IT!!

QUESTION: Can thinking more positively help you to live a more successful, happy and satisfying life?

 ANSWER: YES!!

The docs over at the Mayo Clinic believe that personality traits like optimism and pessimism can have a significant impact on your over-all health and well-being.

In fact, they think that positive thinking is key to effective stress management, health and wellness. You can read the entire Mayo Clinic article on positivity here: http://mayocl.in/1PTbFKV

I believe positive thinking is a coping mechanism that helps you better handle life’s challenges, set-backs and stress. It’s a skill you can learn and it comes with enormous benefits. If you want less stress, improved health, happiness and more peace, you should practice positivity. Like any other skill — the more you do it, the better you’ll get at it. And the good news is — it’s never too late to learn. So let’s get started:

12 Things Positive People do to Live Happier:

1. Positive people find joy in the little things.
2. Positive people always find something to look forward too.
3. Positive people forgive themselves when they stumble and believe failure is one of their best teachers.
4. Positive people see challenges as opportunities.
5. Positive people are kind to others and always see the bright side of things
6. Positive people count their blessings not their problems.
7. Positive people don’t play the blame game and take and responsibility for their actions.
8. Positive people learn from the past and live in the present.
9. Positive people are grateful.
10. Positive people smile more.
11. Positive people put their energy into finding solutions.
12. Positive people believe that LIFE IS AN AMAZING JOURNEY and when they’ve had a bad day find peace in knowing that tomorrow they’ll have another chance to get it right!

 NOW I’D LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Which of these 12 positive actions do you embrace and how has it helped? Let’s get the dialogue going and help others who want to raise the bar on positivity in their life. I can’t wait to read what you have to say in the comment box below!

If you like this post and think our world can use more positivity, please do me a favor and share it by using one or more of the colorful buttons at the top of the page.

2017 is going to be an amazing year!! Please remember, a more positive and happier life is within your reach. It starts by BELIEVING in yourself and taking small steps every-day in the direction you want to go. I know YOU CAN DO IT!!

A  new year.  Endless opportunities to change, learn,  and improve.

Pretty amazing – right?

Yes – but not always that easy to do.

There are many helpful  lessons  to be found in your struggles and triumphs of the past year.

Before you slam the door on 2016, please take a few minutes to ask yourself  three important questions:

1. What  are you most proud of?
2. What  didn’t go well?
   
3. What did you learn?
   

These questions will force you to get honest with yourself.

Whether you want to hear it or not — you did some good stuff. And along the way you stumbled too.

That’s OK because behind those missteps are extremely valuable experiences and information that will help you learn, improve and achieve your goals and dreams.

Are you ready for 2017? I hope so, but before you close the book on the year, I need you to do one more thing:

Take out a piece of paper and write down all those negative stories you’ve been telling yourself.  Then crumble up the paper and toss it into the garbage can. Better yet — if you have a fireplace toss it into the flames.

Then tomorrow let’s begin to write a new story.

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN:

What did you do this year that you’re most proud of?  Please leave your comments in the box below.

Remember your experiences can help others who are looking to change their lives.

If you liked this post, please do me a favor and share it by using one or more of the colorful buttons at the top of the blog.

Thanks for your love and support throughout the year.

Remember a more positive and happier life is within your reach in 2017. It starts by believing in yourself and taking small steps in the direction you want to go. I know YOU CAN DO IT!!

I’ve never used this forum to talk about politics and I don’t plan to change this guiding principle any time soon.

But I do think that there’s no better time than the present moment to share some strategies that are guaranteed to help you find comfort and peace when things don’t turn out exactly the way you wanted them to.

TRUTH: Life is full of disappointments.

Whether it’s a Presidential election, a job interview, promotion, a family issue, friendship or frustration with yourself, it’s all part of the journey. When your expectations aren’t met you can feel  disappointed, angry, stressed, fearful, unhappy, inadequate, hurt, sad, negative and –  even hate.

These emotions are like a wave of bad energy that knocks you to your knees and leaves you feeling frustrated and helpless.

It’s not a good place to be and the longer you stay there, the harder it is for you to get up and get moving again.

Below you’ll find five actionable tips to help you deal with disappointment and role the negative energy you’re feeling into something healthy and productive.

1. Get moving.

Looking for some positive energy? Exercise gets your blood pumping and releases endorphins in your brain that lift your mood and boost your energy level.

It changes the way you feel pretty quickly and gives you the motivation and clarity you need to do better and feel good about yourself.

2. See the good.

It’s a challenge to find good when you’re feeling angry and afraid. Good is out there but when you’re upset it’s more difficult for you to see.

Slow-down and catch a glimpse of the sunset tonight and you’ll understand what I mean.

Good can be found in the most disappointing and difficult situations. It appears in the form of lessons learned, positive solutions, caring and helpful people, random acts of kindness and HOPE.

When you train your brain to see the good, you look past the negativity, judgment and bias to find respect, understanding and opportunity.

3. Keep moving.

The most happy and successful people keep moving forward no matter how they feel.

When life throws curve balls, this amazing group doesn’t make excuses or blame others – they hit the reset button, focus on what they can control and keep moving forward.

They know that taking small consistent action no matter what, trumps (no pun intended) no action every time and that it’s much harder to get started when you stop.

4. Replace fear with faith.

I believe everything happens for a reason regardless of the circumstances. In the end it’s God’s plan and it happens on his time.

When things don’t work out as planned – it’s your job to learn from it and roll the pain, fear and negativity that you’re feeling into something proactive and good.

Some helpful ways to connect with your higher power include – prayer, meditation, yoga, positive affirmations and connecting with nature. Remember that beautiful sunset I told you about earlier?

Choosing faith over fear and doubt helps you to grow and is a much more effective use of your energy.

5. Serve others.

You get what you give in life.

When you’re feeling helpless and alone, take that negative energy and use it to help others.

When you do good for someone else you feel better about yourself.

Serving others makes you realize that no matter how you’re feeling, you have beautiful gifts and talents that can make a positive difference in someone else’s life.

Always remember that others need what you have to give!

Now it’s your turn…

Tell me about a time when things didn’t happen the way you wanted. What did you do to flip the script into something helpful and positive?

Try to share as much detail as possible in your reply. Your story can provide insight and inspiration to someone else.

Thanks you for your support and participation. Together we’ll help each other be better and live happier!

Whether you’re having trouble paying your bills, dealing with work-related problems or family challenges, one thing is for sure and that’s life is hard work.

We all struggle and it’s normal for us to complain and experience hurt, frustration, and anger.

Many of us get so consumed by our emotional pain – we can’t get past it. We get stuck in the negative emotions and can’t break free.

But pain also can be a great catalyst for change.

As a life coach I’ve had the great privilege of coaching and training some pretty amazing people. Each are shining stars with great gifts and talents. But many struggle to get past their pain and understand how to use it as a tool to change and improve their lives.

Do you learn from what hurts your heart or do you torture yourself with it and create even more pain?

Here are four strategies to help you turn your pain into a gift:

1. Figure out what pains you.
What destroys your spirit, depletes your energy and steals your joy? Maybe you don’t like your job or have been trying to lose weight for a long time with no success. Or maybe you’re in a relationship that’s creating stress? Whatever it is — write it down.

2. Learn from it.
Life’s challenges aren’t suppose to paralyze you but help you grow and learn. What have you learned from your experiences and how can it help you start to change and better your current situation?

3. Decide what you’re willing to change?
This self- inventory forces you to get honest with yourself. You have choices but are you motivated and courageous enough to take them? What do you really want and what are you willing to do to get it? Change is scary but regret is even scarier.

4. Let the rest go.
If there’s something that’s not helping you to move your life forward in a proactive and positive way, it’s time to let it go. It’s dead weight that’s holding you back from the things you really want and deserve in life. Learn from it and let it go.

The takeaway….

Every day you have the choice to change and do better. Choose to stay motivated and look for solutions. Listen to your heart. You’re stronger than you think and don’t forget God’s got your back.

Now it’s your turn…..

How did a pain or struggle that you’ve experienced help change you for the better? Please leave your comments in the box below.

Remember your experience can help others who are struggling too

If you liked this post, please share it by using one or more of the colorful buttons at the top of the blog.

Thanks in advance for your support and help.

Remember a more positive and happier life is within your reach. It starts by taking small steps in the direction you want to go. I know YOU CAN DO IT!!